guilty boners actor au

[ivan]

[ ivan shouldn't be excited that till asked him to stop by his dressing room after today's shoot. he should be ashamed– he's failed to separate character from actor and now his feelings for till exist outside of his character. ivan feels his heart race whenever till compliments him, when he offers to practice with him— even just seeing till gets ivan excited, getting one of those small, sleepy little smiles...

ivan likes him. he likes till... a lot. he has to be professional, and will be. he just needs to stop associating being alone with till to be an... intimate thing. it's not! till is just helping him; it's guidance from a senior actor, and till is so cool and so kind to help him.

he tells himself this, yet he constantly ends up with his hand around himself at the end of the night, thinking about the scene they recorded and how it might have felt if till's character would have been written to be into it, instead.

standing outside of till's dressing room, ivan lets his curled fist hang in midair. he's fantasizing again. oh, no. he's gotta focus up before knocking... pull it together, ivan! raising his hands, he slaps both open palms against the sides of his face, but this only makes the already apparent blush on his cheeks even more so and really does... absolutely nothing to help him focus.

fixing his face with a smile— he is genuinely happy, after all— ivan, polite (this is his senior, after all), raps his knuckles against till's door. ]

Till-sunbae? You wanted to see me after the shoot was over?

[ maybe till has tips for him...? the photogs seemed happy with him, but maybe there's something only a seasoned actor can pick up on. ]

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[ivan]

T-Take responsibility? [ what does that mean?!? how? how does till want to take responsibility?? they just agreed to (unfortunately) not keep going here, but it's not as if till is inviting him somewhere else...

ivan stares at till, open-mouthed and flushed, eyebrows raised. he blinks, hard, shaking his head as if trying to clear his mind of whatever his imagination is attempting to conjure up.

till's comment about their casting invokes a soft, amused chuckle from ivan, but his smile slowly fades into something more subdued. ]

Don't be sorry. I've... thought about this... a lot... [ ivan leans into till's hand, comfortable and affectionate, even if he is struggling a bit with not paying attention to the fact he's gotten hard, and how embarrassing what he's saying is— but it's true. ] If anything, I'm the irresponsible one. [ ivan closes his eyes, too guilty to meet till's gaze. despite being the one to suggest stopping, ivan hasn't let go. ] The sound you made... I don't know how I'm going to get it out of my head.

[ it was quiet, but it was enough. ]

[pethetic]

[take responsibility as in he has to be the responsible one about what's transpired!! Ivan's the one who needs protecting, not Till!]

Yeah, [is his answer. and to hear that Ivan's thought about it a lot catches Till's attention—confirms that they're in more trouble than he thought. which is both great and. uh. troubling. but whatever, they're already here. Till watches as Ivan leans into his touch, finding it too sweet and too tempting...]

No... as your senior and mentor, the professional thing to do is to ignore that kind of desire. Maybe it's hard because I was sensing some kind of tension, even if I didn't realize it... but that's no excuse.

[his ears sting pink with his comment about the sound he'd made—Till hadn't even realized he'd made any kind of sound. he curls his fingers into the front of Ivan's shirt, pulling him in again.

then don't, is what Till wants to say—instead, he finds himself pressing another (chaste) kiss against Ivan's lips.]

Might be we can still make this good for your work, though...

[ugh. that sounds like a sleep with your senior for networking kind of proposition, which isn't what he's getting at. he clarifies, still close,]

You're probably going to get other jobs that require kiss scenes, here or there... if this IP really takes off. The final cut ended up being so good, it might be something you're kinda known for, [he jokes.]

I can bring in some old copies I have, or something.

[so they can have something to blame—if anything, to maybe keep themselves from going off the rails.]

[ivan]

[ for a moment, ivan's heart drops. till doesn't want to continue this...?

ivan's misunderstanding colors his interpretation of the rest of what till says. thankfully, till pulls him in for a kiss, though it's much less heated than their previous ones. till's ears are a little pink... but now he's suggesting they do this for... work? practice for future roles? help. golden retriever brain confused.

trying to remedy the situation best he can— or what he assumes is the situation— ivan's hands come up to grab till's shoulders. he leans in, desperate to clearly get his point across. his face is flushed, mouth open. a single, strangled sound leaves ivan's throat before he boldly declares: ]

I—...I'm not interested in doing this just because you're my senior!

[ he doesn't want till to think he's only into him because of what he does for work!!! ]