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guilty boners actor au
[ ivan shouldn't be excited that till asked him to stop by his dressing room after today's shoot. he should be ashamed– he's failed to separate character from actor and now his feelings for till exist outside of his character. ivan feels his heart race whenever till compliments him, when he offers to practice with him— even just seeing till gets ivan excited, getting one of those small, sleepy little smiles...
ivan likes him. he likes till... a lot. he has to be professional, and will be. he just needs to stop associating being alone with till to be an... intimate thing. it's not! till is just helping him; it's guidance from a senior actor, and till is so cool and so kind to help him.
he tells himself this, yet he constantly ends up with his hand around himself at the end of the night, thinking about the scene they recorded and how it might have felt if till's character would have been written to be into it, instead.
standing outside of till's dressing room, ivan lets his curled fist hang in midair. he's fantasizing again. oh, no. he's gotta focus up before knocking... pull it together, ivan! raising his hands, he slaps both open palms against the sides of his face, but this only makes the already apparent blush on his cheeks even more so and really does... absolutely nothing to help him focus.
fixing his face with a smile— he is genuinely happy, after all— ivan, polite (this is his senior, after all), raps his knuckles against till's door. ]
Till-sunbae? You wanted to see me after the shoot was over?
[ maybe till has tips for him...? the photogs seemed happy with him, but maybe there's something only a seasoned actor can pick up on. ]
ivan likes him. he likes till... a lot. he has to be professional, and will be. he just needs to stop associating being alone with till to be an... intimate thing. it's not! till is just helping him; it's guidance from a senior actor, and till is so cool and so kind to help him.
he tells himself this, yet he constantly ends up with his hand around himself at the end of the night, thinking about the scene they recorded and how it might have felt if till's character would have been written to be into it, instead.
standing outside of till's dressing room, ivan lets his curled fist hang in midair. he's fantasizing again. oh, no. he's gotta focus up before knocking... pull it together, ivan! raising his hands, he slaps both open palms against the sides of his face, but this only makes the already apparent blush on his cheeks even more so and really does... absolutely nothing to help him focus.
fixing his face with a smile— he is genuinely happy, after all— ivan, polite (this is his senior, after all), raps his knuckles against till's door. ]
Till-sunbae? You wanted to see me after the shoot was over?
[ maybe till has tips for him...? the photogs seemed happy with him, but maybe there's something only a seasoned actor can pick up on. ]
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ivan gets a little more bold, his hands at till's hips, now, the fingertips of one resting just above the curve of his ass. pulling till close to him is something he’s done a thousand times, for countless takes, but when he does it this time, now that till's hands are free, it’s purely as himself.
it's nice— nice is too little of a word, but it's almost impossible to make sense of his thoughts right now. ivan wants to immerse himself in this as much as he can; he's allowed to kiss till, and to kiss till the way he wants. ]
...sunbae...
[ leave it to ivan to keep even shoving his tongue into till's mouth, respectful. he slides a heavy palm up to the small of till's back, splaying his fingers there. warm.
after getting till's attention, ivan kisses him again, short and sweet. he stays close. ]
...can I kiss your neck...?
[ it's a breathless, shy-sounding request, for multiple reasons— till has just admitted he's attracted to ivan (but they're already kissing with tongue...), they're public figures, so maybe if ivan promises no marks— but how can you say no to a hopeless puppy? ]
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the murmur of his social title between their kisses warms Till, a little taken aback by how affectionate he finds it. and that's certainly what he's taking from Ivan's kissing so far. while of course his sexuality is quite apparently welling through the cracks of the dam (has he been as frustrated as Till? the thought turns him on), it's undeniably affectionate. Ivan's hand is warm, sprawled soft but full against the small of his back. it inadvertently (?) makes Till move closer as Ivan's kisses get greedier.]
Mm...?
[to his question, Till takes a moment to arrive to processing it, a little dazed from their kissing—he blinks, then smiles a bit lopsidedly, clearly unbothered by the request.]
Yeah.
[and as if anticipating Ivan's thoughts, though with no intention, he follows up with a lilted] No marks, though...
[Till tilts his neck, peering through the corners of his eyes at Ivan curiously. he's probably overthinking it, but he wonders if Ivan's curiosity is attracted to Till's neck because it had always been covered in filming or shooting... or if it's because he'd had his hands around Till's throat so many times. or both. the choking scene they didn't have to reshoot as often as the kiss, since the kiss scene getting fucked up kept preventing them to get to the strangulation scene.
his fingers sift through Ivan's hair, stroking affectionately.]
It's a little bit of a shame... I really like that kind of thing.
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and then till smiles again, and that makes ivan blush more than the acceptance of his request does. ivan nods slowly, a little belatedly as till cranes his neck for him. ah. that's... really sexy. ]
I... really like your smiles. [ just to affirm he did hear till set that boundary, he adds, soft but resolute: ] No marks.
[ it's not as if till never smiles— it's just... different, when they're directed at ivan.
swallowing heavily and taking a breath just as heavy, ivan leans down and in, mouth hovering just above the junction of till's neck and shoulder. it's a little bit of a shame, though... i really like that kind of thing. ivan freezes, breath audibly caught in this throat. oh my god. oh my god!! his dick is in danger!!!
he pulls away minutely to look at till with a tortured expression, face flushed. his voice has a bit of a whine to it. ]
S—...Sunbae. Please don't say something like that if I can't do it...
THE CLOSEST THING I COULD GET TO AN IC ICON ...
he turns his head back towards Ivan with a soft laugh, stroking a thumb across Ivan's warm, blushing cheek.]
Sorry.
[he wants to say he can do it against his trap, instead...or his collarbone... but that'll have Till stripping in no time and they'll get caught probably doing worse than kissing. if there's something Till's learned about himself is that he has a line, and he's learned that when he crosses it, he can't stop.]
I shouldn't tease you like that. But it's not as though I won't like it anyway...
[he feels like he's in a wet dream or something. they only made out for a couple of minutes and now Till's doling out thinly veiled dirty talk and Ivan's wanting to kiss his skin. this is already kinda dangerous.]
DWDW I UNDERSTAND
furrowing his brows, ivan's full lips are set into a little pout. he can't really tell if till means he'd like it even if ivan disobeyed or he'd like it even if ivan can't leave a mark. the former makes ivan get hotter under the collar. that can't be what till means. is it? his sunbae is such a tease...
there's got to be some sort of middle ground for this, right? somewhere he can mark till that won't easily be seen...
making a frustrated, flustered sound under his breath, ivan lifts a hand to cup till's face, gently urging him to tilt his head to the side, then further still. ivan has had this done to him, by a girl, but never really felt the desire to do it back. maybe that's why that relationship ended (it ended because he's gay). but with till... with till, simply the thought of giving or receiving a hickey gets ivan worked up.
ivan does kiss till's neck, slow and sweet, but a shaky exhale against till's skin is the warning of a 20-something who is maybe a little too(?) excited. he leaves a short trail of kisses along till's neck, each one a little more hasty than the next. he stops at the side of till's face, a quiet and breathy sunbae murmured there as he nuzzles him. it might be a little reminiscent of one of their scenes for cure, but this is more desperate, like ivan is trying to reel himself in.
he goes for it, then, kissing and sucking gently at till's earlobe. it's brief, because his real goal is just below it. ivan lets out another unsteady breath as he kisses and nips at the skin, and when he kisses there again, it's less gentle— ivan seals his lips around the skin and sucks with the intent to bruise.
...this should be easier to hide than clear on till's neck, right...?
sunbae don't be mad he's just a lil guy ]
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especially when Ivan whispers his social title and nuzzles into him like that. it's...more intimate than he's used to, which is maybe a little fucked. not that he's uncomfortable by it, or taken off guard.
he shivers with a bit of surprise at the presence of his lips and tongue at his ear, and his mouth parts as his hand sinks lower, grasping a fistful of the fabric between Ivan's scapula. his head turns a bit to let Ivan closer with more ease, letting go of a heavy breath; Till still seems calm, but definitely so too like he's warming up.]
Ah...
[then his body jolts subtly as Ivan's kisses sink a bit lower, jaw dropping open soundlessly as the sensation moves through him, his nerves sort of blooming awake in a way they haven't in a long time. the force is just right, as is the plush of Ivan's mouth.
distantly, he thinks it's a bad spot—it'll still be visible... but truthfully, it's not like Till's never hid hickeys before. he moves one of his hands to comb some of his own strands of silvery hair out of the way, since Ivan's sort of near his hairline.
Till should definitely not be encouraging this. he's Ivan's senior! he should be a role model...
but he isn't. no one should work as much as he does, no one should treat his body as badly as he does, no one should smoke as much as he does—or drink as much as he does. people just look at the product: his acting, and all of that bad shit is forgiven.
Till doesn't want to add creep to the list of all that...
it's okay. he'll talk to Ivan about this. but first, he's just gonna let Ivan have what he wants, because Till wants it too. especially as he feels that familiar dig of a crooked, sharp tooth.]
Mm, that's nice...
i'm using this icon way too much but it just works so well
when ivan thinks it's been enough time, he releases the pressure on till's skin, kissing the blooming bruise before redirecting his attention back to till's lips. they're chapped, but now they sort of taste like ivan's lip balm. both the act and knowledge of putting that mark there and till reacting positively to it makes ivan's now hard dick throb needily. he kisses till a little more insistently, sliding his palm over his ass, tentative in his movement. is it okay to touch till like this...??
ah— oh no. wait. he has to stop—
again when ivan pulls away (thank god till has more patience with this character), he doesn't go very far. he can feel till's breath on his skin. it makes it hard to focus. ]
...Hyung... I... have to be honest with you. I—... [ ivan's eyes dart this way and that, but they do finally settle on till, and ivan meets his gaze. it's not exactly admitting he's been attracted to till for a while, but it's close. ] ...I... um. It's embarrassing to admit, but... I don't know how far we can go before I won't want to stop. We're in your dressing room— [ ivan takes the hand till's lifted to hold his hair back into his own, thumb gently pressed into his palm, as if asking for forgiveness. ] I don't want your reputation to be ruined because of me...
[ ivan's guilty gaze drifts back down to till's mouth. he's saying all this but, god, he really wants to kiss till some more. ]
we do what we can
he blinks somewhat dopishly at Ivan when he pulls back, sufficiently and satisfactorily dazed. he doesn't seem annoyed, or let down.
the buttery soft velvet of Ivan's lovely voice is so quiet in its tenure that it makes Till want to push him over, crawl on top of him and just kiss him until they start losing clothes. even the sound of that tenor is intimate.]
Ah—haha, [Till laughs, smiling softly.] Yeah, you're right... I don't want to damage yours either, and I'm the same way...
I should take responsibility—I started this...
[he tilts his head, eyes softening as he brushes some of Ivan's hair from his face.]
Sorry for being so irresponsible. Seems we were cast a little too well.
[two mlm who happen to have chemistry?? not that Ivan and Till did as fictional characters, but Till's of the opinion they could have if in a different life. some of the spinoff shoots they've done kind of imply it, anyway.]
😔👏
ivan stares at till, open-mouthed and flushed, eyebrows raised. he blinks, hard, shaking his head as if trying to clear his mind of whatever his imagination is attempting to conjure up.
till's comment about their casting invokes a soft, amused chuckle from ivan, but his smile slowly fades into something more subdued. ]
Don't be sorry. I've... thought about this... a lot... [ ivan leans into till's hand, comfortable and affectionate, even if he is struggling a bit with not paying attention to the fact he's gotten hard, and how embarrassing what he's saying is— but it's true. ] If anything, I'm the irresponsible one. [ ivan closes his eyes, too guilty to meet till's gaze. despite being the one to suggest stopping, ivan hasn't let go. ] The sound you made... I don't know how I'm going to get it out of my head.
[ it was quiet, but it was enough. ]
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Yeah, [is his answer. and to hear that Ivan's thought about it a lot catches Till's attention—confirms that they're in more trouble than he thought. which is both great and. uh. troubling. but whatever, they're already here. Till watches as Ivan leans into his touch, finding it too sweet and too tempting...]
No... as your senior and mentor, the professional thing to do is to ignore that kind of desire. Maybe it's hard because I was sensing some kind of tension, even if I didn't realize it... but that's no excuse.
[his ears sting pink with his comment about the sound he'd made—Till hadn't even realized he'd made any kind of sound. he curls his fingers into the front of Ivan's shirt, pulling him in again.
then don't, is what Till wants to say—instead, he finds himself pressing another (chaste) kiss against Ivan's lips.]
Might be we can still make this good for your work, though...
[ugh. that sounds like a sleep with your senior for networking kind of proposition, which isn't what he's getting at. he clarifies, still close,]
You're probably going to get other jobs that require kiss scenes, here or there... if this IP really takes off. The final cut ended up being so good, it might be something you're kinda known for, [he jokes.]
I can bring in some old copies I have, or something.
[so they can have something to blame—if anything, to maybe keep themselves from going off the rails.]
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ivan's misunderstanding colors his interpretation of the rest of what till says. thankfully, till pulls him in for a kiss, though it's much less heated than their previous ones. till's ears are a little pink... but now he's suggesting they do this for... work? practice for future roles? help. golden retriever brain confused.
trying to remedy the situation best he can— or what he assumes is the situation— ivan's hands come up to grab till's shoulders. he leans in, desperate to clearly get his point across. his face is flushed, mouth open. a single, strangled sound leaves ivan's throat before he boldly declares: ]
I—...I'm not interested in doing this just because you're my senior!
[ he doesn't want till to think he's only into him because of what he does for work!!! ]